To My Future Self

You hear about people "losing motivation" and becoming overwhelmed in what they have to be, not what they are. The constant pressure to know who you're going to be is ever prevalent in our daily lives, and creates an unnecessary stressor to kids and adults alike. Over the last few years, I've had the mindset that I had to have a future. I had to have a life that would please everyone and fit to the construction that was created for me. I knew I would go to Berkeley and become a lawyer. I knew I would move out and live on my own. The plan I was dictating for myself was one of many years of education and that's how I wanted it. I would ask my friends, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and many wouldn't know. To that I would be confused, thinking, "You are a 15 year old and you don't know?". I was exposed to the fact that many kids didn't have that thought of who they wanted to be, and I started thinking of why I was so obsessed with it. I didn't want high school to end, but I wanted my life to start. I was at a contradiction with myself between 'not caring' and 'caring too much'. I decided that instead of hoping to carry out my plan in every way that I wanted to, I should just "see what happens", and that became my motto. If I didn't do an assignment, I wouldn't stress, but I'd "see what happened". Yet somehow, I still wasn't content. Feeling like I'd let go of that "aspiring scholar attitude", I started to find a balance within myself, deciding I would live with purpose, but not a plan. I would have desire, but no promises. The feeling of having options is so important, but I often became infatuated with the idea of having a set future I would push aside any. Where I am right now is the greatest place I've ever been. The world I'm living in, the choices I am making, the people who are surrounding me, they are the most important things right now. It's not about losing motivation, but living in the moment. Being a teenager while I can. It shouldn't be a race to the finish line, but a run worthwhile. I feel like I've found that balance that I am happy with now, and to my future self, I hope I will have lived in every moment I could've. Taken every chance, failed every mistake, loved every person, and grown with every opportunity. I don't want to have any should have's or wish I would have's. To my future self, I hope that I listened to everyone's advice and grew into a person stitched by many words. To my future self, I hope I have become the person that I strived to be, and that I challenged every obstacle I encountered. To my future self, I hope I lived.

Be You

In my generation, individuality is rare. People face the constant struggle to "fit in". They seem to believe society has cast a certain mold for them to conform to, and that anything outside of that is considered weird. It doesn't necessarily mean that being yourself is a bad thing, but it's not a common thought. From a young age, parents encourage their children to be their own person. Think your own thoughts and develop your sense of right and wrong. Learn from your mistakes and shape your own personality with your likes and dislikes. However, there comes a point where that spark of individuality fades. Suddenly, it's not about making your mark on the world, but blending into the picture. We see it all the time on social medias or at school. People will buy the shoes that everyone else is wearing, and start using the common hashtag, and I'm not saying that is a bad thing. Platforms like Instagram and Facebook have connected people that would've never met before based on their like interests. It's such an advance in how relationships are formed and it's this global connection that has allowed people to create new friends. Per contra, it becomes a problem when people think their interests are strange or unaccepted because of a large majority of kids that don't understand them. It takes a certain amount of self-confidence and strength to write or post or express your interests, no matter how "nerdy" or "weird" they are. A young girl I know recently started her own blog all about being what she calls a "complete and total geek". As you read her writing, her personality comes through so much that it's as if you're standing right in front of her listening to her talk about her obsessions in Doctor Who and band. It's so... refreshing you could say to see a teenager that doesn't necessarily care what others think about her, and that it's ok to like things that aren't exactly well known. You can read about many young people suffering from anxiety and depression because they feel they don't belong in this world with all their peers. The social pressures inflicted upon them to be like everyone else can become too much for them and they crack. It's an increasing problem with no current relief. As important as it is to have good friends to lean into when you need, it's also just as important to have self-confidence and trust in yourself that you always can do what you want to do. It's as simple as not caring what your friends will think of your new dress, or the fact that your boyfriend is a total nerd. The things that matter to you the most should hold a significant importance that you respect and let shine through. Be yourself and create a change that you were meant to bring. Don't think that you were brought here just to fade away. Let your heart guide your mind in everything you do and you will never give up.

Words

One of the best things about being a human today is having this immense, yet equally as formidable, power to use words. We use words to convey ideas, thoughts, opinions, and basically let others know what we're thinking. However this great power we obtain comes with a great responsibility as to not let our words bear an incorrect significance. From a young age, we are given the tools to forge a powerful vocabulary. As we grow, we collect new words that are added to that vocabulary, and by the time you have reached your teenage years, you have quite a colorful language. When you're happy, you shout and cheer and exclaim. When you're uncomfortable or angry, you complain and whine and cry. Those distinct phrases you use express what you're feeling. The tone you use when speaking to someone can easily depict what mood you're in as well, and can help the other person understand what you are feeling. Yet in spite of the admirable amount of face-to-face contact our nation is displaying, we are still becoming a technological age, and most of our conversations occur over social medias or text messaging. The concept of "body language" is now removed from the picture. The things you write or type are not as easily deciphered by your recipient. It doesn't matter if you meant something as a joke because the person that read it isn't thinking of how you said it, but what you wrote. It is now that we encounter a new problem. In current days, words like "cyberbulling" and "online harrassment" are being used more than ever. This of course is due to the fact that computers weren't as common 50 years ago, but also that funny comments and sarcastic humor is being taken more literally now. The unsettling truth is that people find a satisfying comfort of hiding behind a profile making rude comments rather than expressing their opinions in a socially-acceptable way. You can say whatever you feel, in a positive way. There is always a chance to enforce constructive criticism. I've noticed that many communal platforms have turned very negative, and are being flooded with unnecessary hate. I am a strong enthusiast for sticking up for what I believe in and "getting my point across", but at the same time it takes a level of maturity to understand an argument and think of any possible outcome your words might have. As a professional in whatever you do, there is no "She started it." or "It wasn't my fault." You have to recognize the battle you enter before you submit a comment, or post a status update. Belittling someone for something they did wrong doesn't make you seem any better, it only makes you appear like you've sunk to their level. The strongest way to improve a situation is to talk to that person and express you're discontent with their actions. I'm not saying that murderers are great people and you just don't know them fully, I'm saying that before you "seek revenge" on someone by posting something about them, understand that it can be misinterpreted and you could be the person in the end looking like a jerk.

15 Pieces of Advice

As I turn fifteen, I realize I have experienced quite a few things. Here is my advice for life.


1) Chances. The world is full of them, and there are so many people missing out.

2) Others. It doesn't matter if other people don't like your style. You do, and that's all that should matter right now. Do things that make you happy.

3) Effort. All great things take effort and persistence. Don't believe me? Check out my previous blog post, dedicated to the lack of motivation in today's youth.

4) Time. There's a lot of time in your life. More than you think. Wait to do adult things when you're actually an adult. You don't need to smoke or have sex now. Now is the time to get through school, and hang out with friends. Don't worry about what you can't control now. There is always a brighter tomorrow that holds new opportunites.

5) Thoughts. While most humans like to share their thoughts and feelings out loud with people, it's important to have a "filter". Take in the consideration of others, and make sure your comment isn't going to hurt them. It's important to have a voice, but make sure it's a positive one.

6) Priorities. Spending 20 minutes every morning putting on mascara to impress your peers isn't going to help you pay rent in 15 years. A job is. Education is number one right now.

7) Respect. Respect is treating someone with no lesser value than you would treat yourself. Always remember that in order to respect others, you must first respect yourself, because without it, you wouldn't know how.

8) Confidence. Following suit of "self respect", confidence is key. Pursue your dreams, and have faith in yourself to achieve any goal you set, because no one succeeded in this world without first believing in themselves to do it.

9) Health. Your body is growing right now. The most it will in your whole life. Take care of it. Soap is nice, as well as an occasional facial cleanser. Eat fruits and vegetables, as well as lots of water. Don't binge on candy too frequently, but make sure to give yourself treats every now and then.

10) Belong. You were put here on this Earth for a reason. Whether that was by God or Buddha or whoever you believe in, or a freak chemical reaction, it happened. Don't think you were ever a mistake, because at one point, the stars aligned just for you. Why would you hurt a body that was put here to do great things? Cutting, drinking, or puking won't help any problems. This world wouldn't be better "without" you. You always belong somewhere.

11) Love. We as humans have always had an unfulfilled duty to love one another. We were made as equals, and therefore shall be treated as equals.

12) Color. Everything deserves to be colored at some point. And when you think about it, color can add variety, excitement, or change, to anything. However it doesn't change what is on the inside of that thing. It's just a slight outer adjustment.

13) Connect. There are so many people in the world with the same dreams or interests as you. You can make so many friends and relationships based on them too, you just have to put yourself out there, and connect.

14) Dream. Always keep your goal in mind, no matter the strength of darkness.

15) Live. Value everyday as your last, because you never know if it might be.

Effort

As I recently found out, people are oblivious. They fail to recognize opportunity. So caught up in their own lives they become unaware to the chances they are missing, and therefore become content. Content with achieving the standard, and are not tempted to surpass it. We are growing up in a world where the minimum is accepted, and humans deter their efforts to make themselves someone. I guess you could say, we are losing inspiration. It's times like these that we can lose sight of the future. And, I am not speaking for the adults in this world, or for the people who have their heads on straight. No, I am speaking for my teenage friends who as I talk to, become less and less excited for their lives ahead, and that are so engulfed with their well-being now that they never want to grow up. Kids that obsess over their hair, or makeup, or social media accounts, or significant others, they tend to all lose motivation to become something in their life. As they deal with the traumas that occur now, the idea of a "bigger picture" can get lost. However, it's as simple as walking down the street without taking selfies, or auditioning for that role without getting nervous. The distractions that inflict upon your intentions can change the outcome, sometimes in a positive or negative way. As I've stated many times, when getting frustrated or scared with what's happening now, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. You have so much to look forward in life, and you as a human are capable of so much. Just think, you basically are made out of the same things as celebrities, or renown philosophers. The only difference is they might just work harder, or think differently. If you have a "dream" or goal you want to reach, there are so many resources you can use to obtain it. Maybe, the only thing you're missing right now is time. And trust me there's lots of that. Don't get discouraged or lose hope just because your goal can't be reached right now. Keep working on it, and never lose sight of what you want to become, because the easiest way to fail is to stop trying.

Human Perception

I believe this world is composed upon a bunch of different perceptions. Religion, culture, and sciences are just a bunch of different thoughts agreed on by a group of people. No one was there when the world was created. People have the freedom to think whatever they want about the world, but whether they share their thoughts and feelings with others, now that’s a whole different battle. Humans as a species learned languages in order to convey ideas and messages to the members of their groups. In the past, works were written on the amazing thoughts that simple people founded. Others would admire their creative and assertive thinking to their natural world. However as time progressed and scientific thinking became challenged by opposing forces such as religion and anti-evolutionary activists, these creative thinkers felt threatened. Threatened by the majority that criticized their ideas. And just imagine if these thinkers became threatened to an extent which caused them not to think, and just to conform. The world that we know today, and the population that has grown in it have all been exposed to the differences of human thinking. It is what creates diversity amongst us, and allows people to develop personal beliefs and opinions on things. Change and growth like this is healthy for us, and is not to be frowned upon. It doesn’t matter if someone is Mormon, or lesbian, or vegan. It’s a personal choice. Unless the person or group pressures you to join their way of thinking, or threatens your safety or rights as a human, accepting their ways of thinking and moving on with your life is key, for we are all the same on the inside, and we’re all going to end up the same way. 

The Best Aspect of Life

People ask me if I'm ok. The question of "what's wrong?" seems to be weaved into daily conversations now. The answer always seems to be the same too. "nothing". It's not that there are problems. Other people have problems. There are starving people, homeless people, dying people. They have bigger problems then I could ever experience. You could say I just have "minor bumps in the road". Homework, acne, stress. Those are the types of things that can ruin a day or make you sad. And it's not that your always sad. Sometimes you just feel tired and done. Done with trying to make it feel better and make yourself look happy. On the inside, you just don't want to deal with it. Everyone has those days. It's an unavoidable part of life. Basically, things will happen and you'll cry or feel bad about yourself, but in the end, it is you that will decide how to deal with these things. Would you get mad over a breakup or fight? Or would you take a step back before getting worked up and look at the bright side. Wether you like it or not, everything has two sides, like a coin. You have heads, which is what everyone sees. And you have tails, which is always there but sometimes ignored. Whatever you're going through can be viewed as a positive versus a negative. It can benefit your life and make it better rather than ruining your day and making you sad. It can depend on wether the positive outweighs the negative, but overall it's important to look at how the event can shape your life. Nothing lasts forever, except time itself, which has to end at some point. A hardship now can't control your life forever. Just remember to take a step back and view the whole picture, because there is always a flip side to whatever situation, and there is always a better aspect of life.